You might think being noisy in the bedroom is just a matter of personal preference. But in a lot of ways, there’s a strong connection between sexual health and being vocal in bed.
Here are five reasons why it’s important for the bedroom of healthy, sexual active people to not be so quiet.
1. It means you're breathing. In the heat of passion, breathing should be more than the silent inhale and exhale of daily life. So, if your breathing is audible in bed, that’s an excellent sign. Breathing deeply can increase pleasure. It can also keep the fun from ending too soon. Use your breath to regulate the speed of what’s going on. Speed it up to help get you in the mood, and slow it down to prolong the activities.
2. It means your partner knows that you are enjoying it. If you’re silent as a mouse in bed, your partner might begin to wonder if you’re even awake, let alone enjoying what’s happening. So don’t be afraid to “ooh” and “ahh” – or even yell. The point is that it’s important for your partner to hear you. There’s nothing sexy about holding back. You don’t have to put on a show. Just let the sounds flow naturally. You might even surprise yourself….
3. It keeps you in the moment. If you spend all of your time in bed thinking about keeping quiet so you don't sound "weird,” you’ll miss all of the fun. But, if instead of worrying about how noisy you are, you simply let the sounds fall where, when, and how they may, you can stay present and enjoy all of the presents your partner is gifting you. No one’s listening except the one person you want to have in earshot and, believe me, he or she is delighted to hear it all.
4. It shows intimacy. If you can tell your partner what you want in bed, it means you feel close enough to him or her to be comfortable doing that. So don’t be shy. If you like it a little more to the left or a little further down to the right, then make your desires known. There’s no shame in purring a few suggestions or offering some directions. Believe me, everyone loves to be a rock star in bed and having some stage directions only makes it easier to shine.
5. It means you’re comfortable with your sexuality. Letting it all out is only possible when you feel good about yourself and what you're doing, which is how everyone should feel when it comes to sex. If you’re hung up on your body image or whether you’re doing it “right,” then it’s highly likely that silence would be de rigueur. But when the bedroom is alive with the sounds of sweet nothings and shivers and sighs, then it’s clear that all’s well.
Sex shouldn’t be filled with worry or insecurity or thinking ahead about how it should go. Instead, it should be about spontaneity and pleasure and joy. Just like the other senses, our sense of sound can play a big part in our sexual experiences. So why deprive yourself or your partner of any fun? And if being noisy is new, take it slowly, start with breathing, move to sounds, and finally add in some pillow talk. There’s no rush and no rules. It’s all about what works for you.
Jenny Block is a freelance writer based in Dallas, Texas. She is the author of "Open: Love, Sex, and Life in an Open Marriage." Her work also appears in "One Big Happy Family" edited by Rebecca Walker and "It’s a Girl: Women Writers on Raising Daughters" edited by Andrea Buchanan. Visit her Web site at www.jennyonthepage.com