Published February 24, 2011
For most people, sex is not the first thing that comes to mind when sports is the topic at hand. But just as there are many life lessons that can be learned from sports, so too are there lessons to be learned about sex.
Whether you’re talking about team sports or individual sports, there’s a great deal that translates directly from the field or court or stadium into the bedroom. Everything from basketball to football to tennis can offer words of wisdom about how to play between the sheets.
Here are 11 things we can learn about sex from sports:
1. Always remember to breathe. There’s not one sport for which this does not apply. And sex is no exception. You’d think it would be easy enough to remember. But holding one’s breath is not uncommon in the throes of passion. But better breathing leads to better sex. So breathe deeply.
2. Work together as a team, but take responsibility as an individual. If you’re having sex with someone other than yourself, take advantage of being a part of a team. That means figuring out how you can both benefit by working in tandem instead of at odds. Things can get very interesting if you both are at the helm.
3. Take turns. There is nothing more boring than never getting a chance to be up at bat. So, be generous, and make sure you partner is getting his or her fair share. It’s OK to keep score as long as you use the stats as a means of assuring fair play and not for assessing penalties. Unless you’re into that, which can be fun too…
4. Accept what cannot be changed instead of bemoaning it. Every game has its own rules. Sometimes sex is a complete free-for-all. But, more often than not, it’s a game that comes with at least some sort of playbook. So, take it in and make it your own instead of wishing it was something it isn’t.
5. Set goals and commit to them. If you feel like something’s lacking but you and your partner aren’t quite ready to make it happen, make a plan. There’s nothing wrong with working up to have the kind of sex life you really want in terms of frequency, positions, or whatever.
6. Practice makes perfect. It does.
7. You have to play to win. If you want to have great sex, you have to have sex. So, work through whatever’s stopping you. If you never engage, you will never score.
8. Increase your skill set. No one ever made it to the Hall of Fame by remaining stagnant. Learning something new will keep you and your partner on your toes. Nothing’s worse than running the same play over and over, especially when it doesn’t always work. So, learn some new moves and play ball.
9. Be flexible. Things change. And sometimes they change right in the middle of an important play. But who cares? Luckily there aren’t any Super Bowl rings or corporate sponsorships riding on your performance, so go with it. You never know, you might end up somewhere even better than what you had in mind.
10. Accept success and “failure” with grace. Sometimes an interlude will turn out exactly as you hope it will. Other times, though, you might not be so lucky. So, leave the gloating for the professionals and let it go if things, well, fail. There’s always tomorrow and you want to both be in high spirits for the rematch.
11. Learn to communicate. There is nothing better than a partner who knows how to take feedback or direction. Both parties benefit when you can both share your wants and needs without fear of a negative reaction. So, talk to your partner and listen to your partner. Even the best lovers can’t read our minds and everyone can benefit from a little feedback.
The list goes on and on, of course. Don’t crumble under pressure; self-evaluate; be responsible; respect your partner; accept your differences; exhibit self-control; push your limits and accept your limitations.
The point is – great sex requires many of the same things that winning a game or succeeding at a career or building a relationship requires. Be fair and honest. Always. And, perhaps most importantly, have a good time. That is why they call it the game of life, after all.
And sex is the bonus round, to be sure. So, why not go ahead and score?
Jenny Block is a freelance writer based in Dallas. She is the author of "Open: Love, Sex, and Life in an Open Marriage." Her work appears in "One Big Happy Family," edited by Rebecca Walker and "It's a Girl: Women Writers on Raising Daughters," edited by Andrea Buchanan. Visit her website at www.jennyonthepage.com or check out her blog at www.jennyonthepage.blogspot.com.