Dr. Manny Alvarez
Well, 2010 was a heck of a year for health! We saw everything from the passing of Obamacare without tort reform to massive breaches in food safety regulation, physicians dropping insurance, hospital closings and, as always, a growing obesity epidemic.
Clearly, my 30+ years as a practicing doctor in the American health care system did not prepare me for all the goodies we were poised to receive in 2010.
So this year, in an effort to prepare myself for what the future will bring in the New Year, I took a cue from the government – because obviously, they know what’s best for our health — cast my medical knowledge to the side, and sought the consult of someone who has no medical experience and really no business telling me how to run my life: a fortune teller.
The predictions she had for me with regard to my health and medical practice were interesting, so I will share some of them with you.
Her first prediction really showed me she was a master of her craft. She told me something only someone looking into the future could possibly know: I will catch a cold and/or a fever in 2011. Amazing! I should have stopped right there, because that one prediction made every dollar I spent worth it. So the simple solution I decided on was that I would wash my hands even more than I usually do throughout the day. Done.
Prediction number two came with a couple of caveats. My fortune phenom told me I should take regular walks and avoid spicy foods this year. Well, we all know that some of the most delicious Latino fare can be spiced just right — and what about all the adventures The Medicine Hunter takes me on? I can’t give those up! So basically, I should eat well and exercise — wow, solid medical advice that I’ve never heard before!
As far as my medical practice is concerned, I was advised not to make any misdiagnoses while treating patients and to watch out for potential litigation when offering medical advice over the Internet. However, she assured me not to worry because Google will be quite heavily involved in dispensing health advice and housing medical records, so they can carry that burden.
Finally, her last prediction restored some hope in this disillusioned doctor: Don’t worry about Obamacare, because there’s really no sense in crying over spilled milk.
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