A good sex life takes time and effort to maintain. It won’t always be easy -- our busy lives are taxing and often leave us tired and devoid of the imagination and motivation required to keep up the pace. Having good sex doesn’t necessarily mean spending hours and hours of frolicking; it can be as simple as doing something a little different just for a change.
Women are cyclic creatures, and her sex drive will vary depending on her hormones and what’s going on in her life. Sometimes it takes a bit longer to get her hot, and the same-old song and dance may not be enough. This applies to you too.
Therefore, it's important to add a few more stimulating aspects to your sex life to keep things interesting.
Here are our top 9 tips for better sex, which should keep the two of you hot for some time to come.
9. Blindfold Her
Sexual pleasure has many dimensions, but the most important sexual organ we have is our brain. When one sense is hindered, our other senses -- via the brain -- clamor to compensate. For example, a deaf person has increased sensory awareness -- sight, smell, touch, and vibrations.
Blindfolding your partner increases her sensory awareness. She doesn’t know where you are or what you are going to do next. This creates anticipation for better sex -- the tease. Tease her mercilessly with sensory objects, such as a feather or your tongue. Start off softly, as this excites her nerve endings and makes them far more sensitive. Be careful not to overstimulate the nerve endings, however, because after a while the neurons stop firing with such intensity and the sensation becomes null and void.
8.Give Her Instructions
After a while you may think you know how to please your partner in every way, but this is very rarely true. There is always something you haven’t tried, and there is bound to be something one of you always does that could be done differently.
To combat this for better sex, have a lesson session in which you don’t think you know it all, and are at each others' mercy as teacher. Talk about things you haven’t tried, but would like to, then choose one suggestion from each partner, and get down and dirty. We often get caught thinking we know what our partners like, and after a while it becomes "the way it’s done." Lose this sex myth and put yourself in the student's chair for a while to achieve better sex.
Sensual touch is one of the most highly relaxing and sexy things you can do for your partner. Our bodies are almost without exception tense in some area, if not many areas. This hinders our energy flow -- including sexual energy flow. Imagine a car that has a clogged fuel filter: The fuel (our energy) can’t get to where it needs to go quickly and smoothly, and the car performs inefficiently.
A relaxing, sensual massage can unlock her body to some very intense orgasms and much better sex in the end. The ability to relax your partner in this way should be high on your list of skills to master. The same goes for her: The difference between a deeply relaxing massage and a sensual massage is in the manner of touch -- you don’t want to relax her too deeply because she will probably fall straight to sleep.
The key to better sex in this case is to keep her senses alert, but her body relaxed. This means a firm touch, coupled with some sensory featherlight caresses. Once you've relaxed her major muscles -- shoulders and back -- work your way down to her buttocks. Strokes can then start to wander near to, but not on, her inner thighs, butt crease and vagina. Don’t forget her hands and feet -- there are thousands of nerve endings in our hands and feet that are very sensitive to touch.
If you have no idea what a good massage feels like or how to perform one, spend some time in "lesson time" with your partner and learn what you both like, or just run your hands all over her body -- all over. Don’t skip to the hot spots or you’ll ruin the effect.
6. Have Her Dress Up
Pretending to be something you're not comes easily to some people. However, it has its benefits when done for fun. Stepping out of the role of being "yourself" can be a fun way to give each other permission to behave differently for better sex. Playing the role of someone else during sexual play is a very enjoyable way to give your partner some different sensations.
Role playing is a great way to have better sex and to have fun with your partner in a lighthearted but sexy way. It is often the woman who does the dressing up simply because A) she enjoys it; and B) she has the resources of clothes, underwear and makeup -- but don't forget that you can play too.
5. Tell Her Your Fantasies
Talking about your sexual fantasies with your partner is a very healthy form of sex play. It increases communication with your partner and helps you get to know each other better. Yes, you may be surprised by what comes out of her mouth, but this works both ways. Keep it light at first and don’t throw her in the deep end with fantasies about people you both know or reveal fetishes you aren't sure about. Sit back with a glass of wine and keep your clothes on -- for now. Fantasy play can also be incorporated into a game for better sex. Use your imagination and keep it sexy. Take it in turns and see where it leads you.
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4. Play a Game
Get a pack of cards and play strip poker for better sex. It may seem like something you would have done when you were in high school (given the opportunity), but adult strip poker is a good way to get naked. Once you are both naked (or nearly naked), you can start on the really fun part: A loss means the other person gets to choose what action is performed on them by the loser. Time limits like one minute on said action means that it is a prolonged game of seduction, which by the end will have you both clamoring to be both the winner and the loser. There are many other games you can play "strip" to, as long as there is regular winner and loser rewards and punishments. The great part about these games is that you can both ask the other person to do something in a certain way that you may not necessarily have ever done before. It can get rather filthy, and definitely lead to better sex in the end.
3. Dirty Talk
Talking dirty has turned people on for decades and will continue to do so because it has something other sex play doesn’t: words. Because our brains are our largest sexual apparatus, we respond to the spoken word automatically -- especially when someone says our name. The spoken word evokes emotions, sensations and blood flow to various regions, depending on the topic.
This works very much in your favor when it comes to talking dirty to your lover because women are especially susceptible to what goes in their ears (and I don’t mean cotton buds or ear candles). Talking dirty is, however, an art form and when done badly can result in fits of giggles (which, lets face it, ain't so bad but isn't quite the goal here). Don’t let this deter you.
2. Try a New Position
You already know how to make her orgasm in two ways (probably). You repeat these regularly because they work -- there's no harm in that. However, if you never try any new positions, how will you ever know? New positions need a reasonably high level of arousal in your lover, so choose your time to strike a new pose when she is quite obviously feeling very randy.
There is no limit to the number of ways to have sex, so you can use your imagination and come up with as many weird and wonderful inventions as you desire. Simply changing locations can dramatically change the position, so consider this too (for example, on top of the washing machine, on a bench, beanbag, or table).
1. Try a New Place
Sex in a new locale is definitely up there in exciting things to do for better sex. You can take a drive somewhere secluded where you can get a bit risque. Try a public place (not too public), or simply move to a different room or area in your home -- or even someone else’s home. Whatever tickles your fancy. There are a million and one different places to have sex other than your home and in your bed -- use them.