Published July 16, 2010
It is often assumed that women generally let themselves go once they're in a relationship. This is frequently true, but men are just as bad; women are just far more tolerant.
But this doesn’t mean you don’t need to make an effort, because she does notice, and yes, she misses the body you had when you first met. Your sexual attractiveness is very important, and as a relationship wears on, the laziness and complacency begins. If you think she will love you 'til the day you die no matter what you look like, think again. She might just want to trade you in for the newer model — the model that makes an effort to ensure he looks good not only for himself, but for her. You expect her to make an effort with her appearance, don’t you? She doesn’t want a man who spends more time in front of the mirror than her, nor does she want a muscle man. She just wants you… with a couple of fix-ups.
Here you will find a quick list of what body blunders women find most offensive, and easy ways to improve bits of yourself without going overboard.
This is the area she most looks at when she perves at you naked. It is also probably one of her favorite places to rest her head, nibble nipples and caress lovingly. A man’s chest is a treasured place for women, so having a posh pair of man boobs covered in carpet is not a turn-on — especially if your boobs are bigger than hers.
What you can do: You can transform your man boobs reasonably easily with a bit of focused attention, and then you get to call them pecs and show them off. Invest in some weights and get one of your fitter mates to show you how to use them properly; don’t hurt yourself by trying to be tougher than you really are. Rowing machines are a great all-round workout for the entire upper body and can work miracles in a reasonably short time span, though you will be working hard. If you have a really, really hairy front, you might want to consider trimming, waxing or laser hair removal. Some hair is generally considered manly and sexy, but if she can’t nibble your nipples without getting a floss, maybe you’re due for a trim.
Excessive Pubic Hair
The point here can be easily made like this: Do you like going down on a furry muff? You don’t, do you? And neither does she. Your largest manly appendage is smooth and hair-free, which means that it gets the most attention. But if you consider that having less hair in other places makes it much easier to lick, suck and fondle these other places, you may realize you are missing out. Pubic hair needs to be trimmed no matter what.
What you can do: Get rid of the offending pubes. This does not mean you have to get rid of all hair — if the thought of a wax on your privates makes you cringe, a hefty trim will suffice. Though in saying that, smooth balls are deliciously smooth and sexy to lick, so try shaving. Let her lick them, and see what you think. You might feel a bit bald for a while, but you’ll get used to it. And no, it doesn’t make her think you look 10 years old.
If you’re a bit puny or saggy, it can impact how manly you appear. If your shoulders and arms are lacking in definition or shape, she may look at you and wish you looked a bit stronger — a bit more like you could save her if armed bandits came to kidnap her. Our primal instincts are still raging on as ever, so yes, looking a bit tougher than you really are is always a bonus when it comes to the ladies.
What you can do: If your shoulders slope downward, you can dress them up by wearing clothes that make you look broader. Jackets with padding, horizontal stripes and nothing that tapers in at the waist are suitable options. Since your shoulders are the last place on the body to accumulate fat, they are in fact one of the easiest places to build visible muscle. See your local gym, an online guide or a fit friend for advice. Get those dusty old weights out and start using them!
More From AskMen.com:
Beautiful, smooth backs are definite lady-pleasers — a nice back will get you places a sparkling personality and a full head of hair won’t. To all you men out there who have hairy backs, it’s not your fault that you have hairy genes, but truth be told, you would probably be getting more attention without the hair. Certainly, some women do love hairy backs ("very manly"), but on a whole, hairy backs are a big reason why lots of men don’t get laid ("No way, he’s got a hairy back").
What you can do: If you have the cash, go to a laser hair-removal clinic and invest in a lifetime of smoothness. Waxing is a suitable alternative, but you must maintain it. Waxing lasts from four to six weeks, and it isn’t expensive. Don’t shave it, as it will grow back quickly and prickly — not nice to touch. To tone your back, get on the rowing machine or do push-ups.
Your stomach is basically the whole front of you, and this is what she predominantly sees when she looks at you. If you have a pot belly, get rid of it. Nobody likes a saggy, protruding stomach, and since this is where men tend to put on weight first (especially if you enjoy beer regularly), it is the main source of the excess weight. You don’t need abs of steel, but you do need to be tucked in. You will notice her squeals of delight and her increased interest in touching the new and improved you when the results of your effort become apparent.
What you can do: Crunches, of course! Also do the rowing machine, push-ups or maybe you could just eat less. That’s what women do; it seems to work. If you don’t know how to do crunches properly, ask somebody; you can easily save yourself time and effort by doing them properly. Oh, and maybe don’t drink so much beer.
Bad teeth will lose you more sex than you’ll ever know. Our smiles are our gifts to the world, and how we show pleasure. If your way of showing pleasure is to bare your stained, broken/missing/buck fangs to the world, perhaps you’re in need of some dental work. Bad teeth look like they smell, and you don’t want to kiss something that looks like it smells. Bad teeth drastically change your appearance — just think how you cringe when someone who looks OK suddenly reveals a terrible mouthful. It ain’t pretty.
What you can do: First off, get them cleaned by the dentist. A professional clean not only makes them feel lovely and smooth, but it gets rid of any gunk you have stuck to them. Then, get a home whitening kit. They don’t cost that much, especially if you compare it to a lifetime of paying for sex. Make sure that your mouth-care routine is leaving your breath fresh, and your teeth clean. If you have missing teeth, for goodness sakes, get them fixed. You might think it’s funny, but a full smile is an attractive smile. If you have a real gobful of sharks’ teeth, it’s best to see a cosmetic dentist for some help. Consider it an investment in your sex life.
If you don’t happen to look your best, a good way to placate the missus is to make sure that you are encouraging her when she isn’t looking her best. Making a woman feel attractive when they aren’t feeling particularly sexy is certainly a challenge, but if you are kind to her in her time of need, she will be kind to you until you get back on your feet. If having a firmer physique is what you want, try doing regular exercise with your partner. It is more fun and far easier than doing it on your own.
Being super-duper is hard work. Being attractive can be hard work for some people, but on the whole a little bit of effort goes a long way for most of us. Knowing what your problem areas are is a good start, so figure out what you think needs improving and hop to. Your lover might insist she loves you just the way you are — and she does — but this doesn’t mean you can’t up the ante a little. Just remember: Whatever you do, do it just as much for yourself as for her. It won’t go unnoticed.