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Fox on Sex: Yes, Virginia, There Is a G-Spot

If you knew there was a button in your car that would improve your driving experience, wouldn’t you use it? If you knew there was a button under your desk to help you improve your work, wouldn’t you push it?

Even if other people didn't take advantage of the same buttons because they didn’t have them or didn’t know about them or listened to people people who said they didn’t exist, wouldn’t you still want to test it out for yourself?

Of course you would.

Now, the button I’m talking about isn’t under your desk or in your car. It’s inside a woman’s body. And it can improve your "driving" experience and make your "work product" better. I’m speaking, of course, about the G-spot. It can be found inside the front vaginal wall. In other words, if you were to insert your finger into your partner’s body and curve it toward you in a "come hither" fashion, you’d hit it. Hopefully.

I’m writing about this today because some silly British "study" came out claiming the G-spot "may not" exist.

First of all, I don’t see how "may not" is any sort of conclusion. Second, I don’t see how studying 1,800 women, all twins, is conclusive. Third, I don’t see how including only heterosexual women makes any sense at all.

The point is ... the study is pointless, as French doctors challenging the study and its results were quick to point out. Obviously women, at least some women, have G-spots. How do we know that? Because they said so. It’s all the reason anyone needs.

It’s important to mention that the G-spot tends to be more sensitive once a woman reaches her 30s (it has to do with hormone levels). It also tends to need some "training," so to speak. That is, the more you activate it, the better. How does one do that? Well, I am very glad you asked.

First things first. A woman has to be aroused before any G-spot stimulation can go on. Watch a dirty movie, get involved in some heavy petting, play with a sex toy, maybe some oral stimulation. Once she is ready, let the exploration begin. Simply face her, insert your finger, curl it upwards and…voila. OK, so it might not be that easy, but with a little gentle perusing, you should be able to find it — and if at first you don’t succeed, well, trying should still be lots of fun.

You’ll know it when you get there because it’ll feel spongy, much different than the surrounding areas. Plus, she’ll feel it. It might feel strange to her at first. You might need to experiment a bit. Some women like their G-Spots gently tapped. Others prefer more pressure or even a continuation of that "come hither" motion of your finger – or fingers – again and again. Clitoral stimulation at the same time – oral, manual, or with a toy – can produce a major explosion. Some even report ejaculating when having a G-Spot orgasm. But more on that another day.

If that doesn't do the trick, there are toys.

The point is to enjoy the sensations your body can deliver and to enjoy helping your partner achieve those sensations. It’s not a contest. It doesn’t work for everybody. It’s nothing to feel ashamed of. It’s certainly not something to be studied out of existence or to cause women to question their own experiences. Our bodies can do some very cool things and, whether alone or among consenting adults, exploring the ever mysterious G-spot can be one of the things well worth the pursuit.

Jenny Block is a freelance writer based in Dallas, Texas. She is the author of "Open: Love, Sex, and Life in an Open Marriage." Her work appears in "One Big Happy Family" edited by Rebecca Walker and "It’s a Girl: Women Writers on Raising Daughters" edited by Andrea Buchanan. Visit her Web site at www.jennyonthepage.com.