Food Trends

David Chang goes on profanity laced rant about Australia's 'terrible' burgers

David Chang likes simple cheeseburgers.

David Chang likes simple cheeseburgers.  (Lauri Patterson)

When it comes to burgers, the simpler the better.

That’s according to outspoken chef David Chang. In his “Burger Manifesto,” a feature that appears in the latest issue of Momofuku magazine’s Lucky Peach, Chang delves into what makes a great burger.

The chef praises the simplicity of a White Castle Burger as a “homogenized bite of amazingness” but also acknowledges fast food favorites In-N-Out and Shake Shack.

“My ideal burger is bun, cheese, burger. Sometimes bacon. Ketchup on the side, so I can control it. Pickles—yes! Obviously. And the cheese thing has to be very clear: American cheese only,” says the chef.

Chang's love for American cheese isn’t all that shocking considering he loves beers like Bud Light. In his eyes,  the processed cheese loathed by proponents of organic cuisine was made for a good old fashioned hamburger.

But when it comes to what not to do with meat between two buns, the Australians take the cake for producing horrible hamburgers.

“You know who f****s up burgers more than anyone else in the world? Australians. Australia has no idea what a burger is. They put a fried egg on their burger. They put canned beetroot on it, like a wedge of it,” Chang says. He adds in a footnote, “Australians: I love your country and I love your food, even if your burgers are mostly terrible.”

His hysterical rant is worth a read but here are some highlights: 

--Do not put “too much s**t” on your burger, especially if it's fancy. “Who wants all the flavors of a pizza and a burger at the same time? Or when people go fancy with their burger? Come on, man, save the truffles for a dish you can’t eat at a rest stop.” (He makes an exception for Daniel Boulud’s famous DB Burger)

--Grass-fed meat is actually a no-no. “It’s too lean and the fat content is not evenly distributed, so it can get a little mealy.”

--Do not load up on veggies. “The whole idea of half-steamed veg on top of your burger is the dumbest f*****g thing I could ever think of. And I will say this: if you enjoy it, you’re an idiot.”