Friends and the City: Finding the Perfect Fit
By Sarah Willer
How do you make friends when you're new to a city? One word: persistence.
I know that's not the word you want to see. You'd rather be told something like: “It's easy” or “They will just come to you.” But those are lies, my friends. Now that we're out of high school, friends don't just fall in your lap. You have to make a conscious effort of who to spend your oh-so-busy time with.
I decided that I would find mine at church. Sounds boring, right? But it's practical. Now that we're growing up we have to be very practical. So off to church I went. Thanks to Google, I had a billion to choose from in the city, every denomination and non-denomination you can think of, so I just walked to one that sounded like it might not be as filled with old people as some of the others.
2 Sundays, 1 after-service brunch, 3 “church hang outs,” and countless awkward conversations later, I was still friendless. What was I missing? I was reaching out and coming up empty handed.
But I kept trying.
I went to one more hang out, this time with a group of women in their 20's who are trying to jump start their careers. Bingo! Instant friends. I'm not kidding- it was like adding water to a Cup O'Noodles.
After several weeks of painful conversations of “What's your name? Where are you from? What do you do?” all it ended up taking was 7 young women, a common insterest, and the nerve to put ourselves out there by hanging out with strangers. In less than an hour of meeting we were all digging through GAP's 50% off summer sale and bonding over cheap jeans and head bands.
How did I do that again? Oh yeah, persistence. Whether it's church, art classes, or a book club. You name it- you can find friends. You just can't expect the first one you stumble upon to be perfection. It's like shoe shopping; try out different stores and styles and you might just end up finding the perfect fit somewhere you would have never looked before.