The just-released drama thriller boasts a star-studded cast including Brad Pitt, Penelope Cruz, Cameron Diaz, Michael Fassbender and Javier Bardem, but it’s a strange sex scene that steals the show.
Bardem plays the love interest to Diaz’s um, free-spirited character, and in an odd (and failed) attempt to turn him on, a panty-less Diaz humps the windshield of his car while he sits inside, looking on in horror.
Next time, just get in the car, Cam.
What’s worse than having sex with a car? Humping an apple pie-- that your mom baked for you-- while your dad walks in. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how Jason Biggs changed the way teenage boys look at pastries forever.
“Howard the Duck”
Ducks are supposed to be cute and fuzzy, not crude and horny. Howard’s “Playduck Magazine”-reading, woman-seducing character is just not right, and his sex scenes with Lea Thompson leave you asking, “Why?”
“Bride of Chucky”
Two scary, possessed dolls having scary, possessed doll sex. Need we say more?
“Ace Ventura: Pet Detective”
Jim Carrey’s Ace Ventura was goofy, not sexy, but his love scene with Courtney Cox wouldn’t have been anything out of the ordinary… if they didn’t have a flock of animals intently watching and cheering them on. Creepy.
Superhero sex must be way better than regular people sex, right? Wrong. At least not in “Watchmen,” when Silk Spectre (Malin Akerman) and the Night Owl (Patrick Wilson) struggle to get their rubber costumes off in the confines of a spaceship, making teenage boys unhooking their first bra in the back seat of a car look smooth.
Ben Affleck is hot, Jennifer Lopez is hotter, and they had an off-screen romance going on at the time. So what happened in “Gigli”?
The movie might have been bad, but the sex scene had potential, even if she played a lesbian… until Ben uttered the words, “It’s turkey time. Gobble gobble,” in the bedroom.
No wonder Bennifer never made it.
“Shoot ‘Em Up”
Having intercourse with Monica Bellucci while killing people?
Jon Hamm’s main reason for being in “Bridesmaids” was to have awkward sex with Kristen Wiig, and he thoroughly enjoyed it.
“It’s like running in the rain. There’s a certain point where you go, ‘F--- it, I’m already wet.’ I’m not going to get any less wet so I might as well enjoy how this feels,” he told Playboy magazine.
“I mean sure, there’s an awkwardness about being in a weird flesh-colored thong, bouncing on top of an actress… It’s weird and uncomfortable at first but then all the awkwardness melts away and you think, ‘All right, we’re doing this, so let’s have fun with it.’”
That’s the spirit!
“The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2"
The sexual tension built up throughout "The Twilight Saga" is painful to watch, and the chemistry between Bella (Kristen Stewart) and Edward (Robert Pattinson) was as cold and dead as, well, a vampire.
We’re actually grateful they spared us most of the sex scene, but seeing the aftermath-- the broken bed frame, Bella’s bruises and her being impregnated with a potentially fatal vampire-human hybrid-- made us wonder: Was it really worth it?
From humping inanimate objects to intimacy between species, these movies made us wish they'd kept things PG-13.