Kelly Clarkson hated being skinny: 'I wanted to kill myself'

Kelly Clarkson performs during the closing ceremony for the Invictus Games in Toronto, Ontario, Canada September 30, 2017. REUTERS/Mark Blinch - RC1128EF6DB0

Kelly Clarkson has struggled with fans reaction to her weight for years, but it turns out the star was at her unhappiest when she was skinny.

Speaking to Attitude Magazine, the “The Voice” coach opened up about her struggles with her own self image and how she tried to keep the weight off early on because of the pressure she felt from people in the industry.

“When I was really skinny, I wanted to kill myself. I was miserable, like inside and out, for four years of my life. But no one cared, because aesthetically you make sense,” she told the outlet. “It was a very dark time for me. I thought the only way out was quitting. I like wrecked my knees and my feet because all I would do is put in headphones and run. I was at the gym all the time”

After being crowned the very first winner of “American Idol,” Clarkson was one of the biggest stars in the world, which forced the typical pressure to stay thin. It wasn’t until the star took control of her own career that she was able to weed out the people in her life that put that pressure on her.

American Idol winner Kelly Clarkson performs at KIIS-FM's Wango Tango 2005 concert at the Angel Stadium in Anaheim, California. American Idol Kelly Clarkson performs at KIIS-FM's Wango Tango 2005 concert at the Angel Stadium in Anaheim, California May 14, 2005. REUTERS/Chris Pizzello - RP6DRMVMWEAA (REUTERS)

For the release of her album “My December,” after the star made her famous split from RCA records, the label that signed her as per her winnings on “Idol,” that she says she felt confident enough to make her own choices about her music, image and body. After 15 years away, she released a new album and her star continues to rise today both in music and on TV.

“I listened to all these songs for the last 15 years, you can tell there’s a suppressed individual in there,” she said on a radio show in September. “It’s very liberating to work in an environment that’s healthy."