Here's what's happening, people:
• In honor of Presidents' Day, Paris Hilton treated her Instagram followers to a clip from her 2008 video for "Paris For President," in which she boasts that, if elected, she'll be our "commander in bikini" (above). So wait, remind us how she lost that election again? That was a solid campaign promise!
• And get this: Because we didn't elect Paris for president in 2008, we also missed out on eight years of her signature "Foam and Diamonds" parties! Watch our interview with Hilton (below) to find out what those are, then seriously consider Paris for a write-in candidate this November.
• After making his new album available to download this past Saturday, Kanye West has reportedly pulled "The Life of Pablo" from his website, and now says that it will only be available to subscribers of the streaming service Tidal. He then added that the album "will never be for sale," which, obviously, is a smart business decision from a man who's $53 million in debt.
• The biggest winners at the 58th annual Grammy Awards included Kendrick Lamar, Bruno Mars and Taylor Swift, each of whom won multiple awards during Monday night's ceremony. And the night's biggest loser? We don't want to say David Bowie, but we can't imagine he'd be too thrilled with Lady Gaga's shamelessly Intel-sponsored medley:
• Disney and Lucasfilm have announced three new cast-members for their next "Star Wars" sequel: Oscar-winning actor Benicio Del Toro, Oscar-nominated actress Laura Dern, and unknown improvisational comedian Kelly Marie Tran, who was probably brought on board to ad-lib some fat jokes about Jabba the Hutt's offspring.
• GQ recently shared a behind-the-scenes video from their shoot with Justin Bieber, in which the "Sorry" singer explains what his tattoos mean (below). But we're not sure if Bieber is being completely truthful, because unlike most tattoo stories we've heard, not a single one of his begins with, "So I was totally hammered, right?"
• "Joy" actress Jennifer Lawrence has reportedly donated $2 million to a children's hospital in her hometown of Louisville, Kentucky. It was quite a generous gesture, but it was also a much smarter investment in a Kentucky enterprise than our last venture, which involved blowing an entire mortgage payment at Churchill Downs.
• HBO has released an ominous new teaser for "Game of Thrones" that takes us on a tour through the Hall of Faces in Braavos (below), and also hints — quite heavily — that fan-favorite character Tyrion Lannister will die in the sixth season. Either that, or someone in Braavos just opened up a really cool costume shop: