Former Journey drummer Deen Castronovo recently sat down for a brutally honest interview, his first after completing court-ordered drug rehabilitation.

Castronovo spoke with The Statesman Journal Monday at his oldest son's home in Keizer, Oregon, with no publicist or attorney by his side.

"It's my truth, I have nothing to hide," he said. "I was a verbally abusive man. I was a physically abusive man."

He recounted details of what led up to his arrest on domestic violence charges in June. Domestic violence counseling is a component of his probation, and has taught him the 24-day methamphetamine binge leading up to his arrest is not to blame, he said.

"Domestic violence is really a choice, and it is calculated," he said. "The drugs and the alcohol exacerbated it immensely, but there's no excuse for what I did. I deal with it every day, and it's deeper than regret or remorse."

He apologized, discussed his ongoing domestic violence and drug abuse counseling, and then apologized again.

"I want to talk to my community, that's important," he said. "I have to live here. I've lived here all my life. My children have gone to school here. My children have friends here.

"They deserve to be apologized to. I've got to make it right now, no matter what it takes or what it costs."

Castronovo is serving four years of supervised probation on charges including domestic violence assault, unlawful use of a weapon and coercion. He says he emotionally, verbally and physically abused his former fiancee and will always be indebted to her for calling the police.

"This is not about clearing my name," he said. "The only way I'm going to get my family's trust back is to walk the walk. I've let everybody in the community down, everyone who ever put any faith and trust in me."

The Statesman Journal could not reach the victim.

"Because domestic violence happens in the secrecy of the home, an apology to the public isn't where his change needs to be made," said Trista Davis, program manager at Solutions Domestic Violence Intervention Program Inc. "The public wasn't the one he hurt. It was his partner."