Hope Solo is sharing her emotional and psychological torment with her teammates — and with the world.

The star goalie of the US women’s soccer team launched a blog this week detailing her personal and image recovery after a string of unsavory run-ins with the law in the past year: an alleged domestic-violence confrontation with her nephew last summer and being involved in her husband’s DUI arrest in January. Solo, 33, received a 30-day suspension after the second episode, in which she was “acting belligerent” when her husband, Jerramy Stevens, was pulled over driving the US team’s van.

In the revealing blog post, she opens up about her anguish, both the cause and symptom of her unstable behavior.

“For the first time, I’d opened up to my teammates about everything I’d been going through,” Solo wrote. “I talked about how hard it had been going through the court case with my family, and explained why I hadn’t been that approachable at camp. I’d been trying to focus while I was on the field, but I’d been a mess emotionally and mentally, and spent most nights crying with my roommate away from the team. After I was done speaking with everyone, one of my teammates gave me the biggest hug and said, ‘Hope, apology accepted.’ That meant so much.”

Solo also shares the contents of an email she sent to the team as the suspension ended to tell them about her time away.

“I told them that for the first time in my life, I’d been seeing a therapist and dealing with a lot of my issues, and finally addressing all the pain and anger that was inside of me,” Solo wrote. “Twice a week, I also worked with an Eastern medicine healer in Seattle who had incredible experience helping some of the greatest athletes perform at the highest levels. He really helped me see things in a different light.”

Solo and the US squad won the Algarve Cup in mid-March, a promising on-field indicator as they prepare for the Women’s World Cup in Canada beginning in June.

This article originally appeared in the New York Post.

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