Nicole Kidman's Puffy Face and Blake Shelton's New Rival

(Reuters/Reuters)

Here's what's happening, people:

Take a good look at those Nicole Kidman photos above, taken only hours apart at the Cannes Film Festival on Wednesday. We're not exactly sure what's going on, but if we had to guess, we'd say she was having some work done or suffering from a slight peanut allergy. Either/or.

Country musician Brad Paisley jokingly said that he'd like to "knee [Blake Shelton]" in the groin for breaking his record of 10 consecutive No. 1 hits on the Billboard Country Airplay charts.

Speaking of Shelton, his wife, Miranda Lambert, shared a throwback photo on Instagram in honor of their third anniversary. Now we ask you: Is that the face of someone that deserves a kick in the junk?

See-though clothing isn't just for gals: David Beckham sported a sheer top for the launch of his H&M swimwear line, which is pointless, because we've already seen the dude shirtless — and pantsless, for that matter.

Miley Cyrus and Seth Rogen, via Twitter, have agreed that a photo of her knee bears an uncanny resemblance to Seth's face. The magic of Twitter, ladies and gentlemen.

Jenny McCarthy posed in various states of undress alongside fiance Donny Wahlberg in Shape Magazine. At 41, she still looks fantastic. And at 44, he still looks like a 44-year-old member of NKOTB.

Bob Dylan recorded a cover of the song "Full Moon and Empty Arms," originally made famous by Frank Sinatra in 1946. So if you want to hear that song once again, but this time with less careful pronounciation, here you go.

Last Friday, the president of the L.A. Police Commision asked to take a selfie with Rihanna at a Clippers game, but she accidentally dropped his phone and broke it. To apologize, she offered a $25,000 donation to the L.A. Police Foundation. The lesson here is this: Go to a Clippers game and let Rihanna break your stuff.

Actress Emily Blunt told Ellen Degeneres that she produced enough milk for an entire Medieval village after she gave birth. "My (breasts) … thought I had 12 children," she joked.

The Standard Hotel employee who leaked the Solange/Jay Z elevator footage has been identified and fired. As of yet, there's no word on whether hotel executives paid him some hush money to keep quiet about their in-elevator nose-picking activities.

Supermodel Karlie Kloss told Us Weekly that Taylor Swift "threw the best after-party ever" following last week's Met gala, then further stated that it was akin to a "teenage after-party." So which was it, Kloss? A rockin' party or a room full of awkward teenagers giggling into their Pepsis?

Former radio host Casey Kasem, who was recently reported missing by his daughter, has been found in Washington state with his wife, who claimed that she and Casey were simply visiting.

Former "How I Met Your Mother" star Neil Patrick Harris claimed that he was offered David Letterman's job on "The Late Show," but turned it down because he thought he'd get bored. Yeah, we agree. Having millions and millions of dollars is probably super boring, NPH.

Although Lindsay Lohan is being sued by the manufacturers of her failed clothing line, her lawyers claim it's unneccessary that she testify to the validity of her miscarriage claims — despite Lohan herself stating (in official court documents) that the reason she didn't respond to the manufacturer's earlier lawsuits was partly due to her miscarriage.

Prince Harry sent out his first ever tweet, urging followers to attend the charitable Invictus Games in support of injured military members. It's a much better use of Twitter than our first tweets, which were something like, "Lol! Funny catz photos! L00K!"

And finally, a couple in Iowa claim to have found marijuana inside the McDoubles they purchased from McDonald's. We've said it before and we'll say it again: Man, that Dollar Menu is a deal.