"I’ve really never talked about this stuff before… I don’t know if I should be sharing this."
That's what 'X Factor' judge Demi Lovato said while recounting how her cocaine addiction was once so bad, she couldn't go an hour without using the drug.
Lovato, 21, told Access Hollywood that she hit rock bottom at 19.
"[W]ith my drug use I could hide it to where I would sneak drugs. I couldn't go without 30 minutes to an hour without cocaine and I would bring it on airplanes,” she said. “I would smuggle it basically and just wait until everyone in first class would go to sleep and I would do it right there. I'd sneak to the bathroom and I'd do it. That’s how difficult it got and that was even with somebody [with me], I had a sober companion, somebody who was watching me 24/7 and living with me [and] I was able to hide it from them as well.”
Her drinking was just as bad.
“I was going to the airport and I had a Sprite bottle just filled with vodka and it was just nine in the morning and I was throwing up in the car and this was just to get on a plane to go back to LA to the sober living house that I was staying at," she said. "I had all the help in the world, but I didn't want it."
Lovato, who sat down with her mom Dianna for the interview, also said she had an eating disorder as far back as age 8.
“It was always there, but then I just acted on it at around 8 or 9 years old. I started overeating, compulsively overeating. I would bake cookies and then eat the whole pan. I went from doing that to being unhappy with my body. I went to just completely starving myself and that turned into throwing up and starving myself and it was just this crazy battle going on inside of me,” she said looking back. “It got really difficult [and] I would throw up and it would just be blood and it was something that I realized if I don’t stop this, I am going to die.”
Lovato's mom took some of the blame.
“I had issues I needed to work on as well because I wasn't setting a good example for her,” Dianna said. “I had a terrible eating disorder that I had for many, many years and I didn't realize it and I had to face up to the fact that I was suffering as well. And a lot of what [Demi] went through with an eating disorder had to do with what she had seen growing up."
Both have since received help and say they are much better now.