Here's what's happening, people:
For some reason, there's an absurd abundance of Hayden Panettiere pictures in which she's eating Burger King's new satisfries. (We bet money is the reason.)
Natalie Portman cut off, like, three or four inches of her hair.
Lindsay Lohan seems to have learned nothing from rehab, because she was recently photographed reaching for a bottle of wine.
Irish actor Jamie Dornan was chosen as the new male lead in "Fifty Shades," but let's face it, something else is probably going to go wrong before this thing is filmed.
Clint Eastwood's wife Dina doesn't want that separaton she filed for last month. Now, she wants a straight-up divorce.
Katy Perry says she's "dating her crush" in the latest issue of W magazine. (We assume she means John Mayer.)
Actor Tom Hardy, of "Inception," "The Dark Knight Rises" and "Bronson," is now going to play Elton John in the upcoming biopic "Rocketman."
Former "Price is Right" host Bob Barker is paying $1 million to have three African elephants transferred from a zoo in Toronto to a sanctuary in California. Why? "It's too cold," he says.
There's now video of Kanye proposing to Kim while the family waits anxiously nearby. But Bruce reportedy wasn't invited.
Remember how Katherine McPhee (married) was caught kissing "Smash" director Michael Morris (also married)? Morris' wife just threw him out of the house.
Michael Jackson is the top earning dead celebrity, says Forbes magazine.
Tori Spelling says she and husband Dean McDermott says that they were so broke, they couldn't afford his vascectomy.
And finally, a new NYC restaurant opened up and it's seating patrons on the stairs.