First, Snooki and Ronnie bond over their love of working out. You can tell Snooki is serious about it, too, because she opts to slam back some Pinot Grigio before hitting the gym, instead of a heavier Pinot Noir or Merlot, which might have slowed her down as she vaguely gyrated on the elliptical machine.
Single Ronnie has morphed into Sensible Ronnie, who worries that if he and Sammi start up again they'll fall into old patterns. But he knows he's just avoiding The Conversation that he needs to have with her. Sensible Ronnie is not long for this world.
"Deena is on a mission to find a frickin' Italian man," Deena tells Sammi, who agrees to help her search. They finds Ellis, a skinny waiter who Deena says "speaks well English." He certainly speaks it weller than you, Deena.
Remember Brittany? Mike's "DTF" friend? Well, she's got a twin with identical self-esteem apparently. The rest of the herd are impressed with Mike's potential "twinning."
"When you got twins, it's cool. So, you're winning. But you're twinning, because you got two twin chicks," Pauly explains.
But Mike tells Snooki he's only messing with these other girls because she has a boyfriend. Snooki thinks Mike knows she's not into him and he's just trying to start drama.
Deena brings her waiter home, and Vinny and Pauly tease her about it, even though she insists she's "not doing sex" with Ellis, who waits until everyone is asleep later and quietly escapes her cuddly grasp.
Meanwhile, Ronnie and Pauly are confused about how phones and pranks work. Brittany tries to call for Mike, and they both hang up on her. Um, yeah, of course she's going to call back. That's not stalking. But whatever. Ronnie decides he's going to "prank" Mike by inviting the twins over. Which is pretty much what Mike was trying to set up anyway. Hilarious!
Sammi and Ronnie have The Conversation at a rooftop cafe, and of course they get back together. "I feel like this time is going to be different," Ronnie says. Vinny has a slightly more realistic take. "Ron and Sam are back together, and we set ourselves back months and months of progress."
The twins catch up with Mike at a club later, and it looks like he might actually be able to close the deal. Haha, just kidding. Nothing that good can happen for Mike. Of all the bizarre ways for his threesome to bust, Deena breaks in to claim Twin Erica for herself, and the two of them start dancing and kissing while Mike fumes.
"It was supposed to be a ménage à twin, with me and the twins," he says. "I was supposed to be twinning. And it turned into a robbery by Deena and my whole menagerie went awry."
"When you're drunk, sometimes you kiss girls," Deena explains. Though later Erica ends up in Vinny's bed somehow. And then back in
Deena's. And then back in Vinny's. It was all very confusing.
Ronnie kept the big secret about Mike and Snooki hooking up for about a day and a half, before blabbing to Sammi and Jenni. Gleefully, actually. "I told on Mike, yeah," he says later. "Mike ratted me out in Miami, Mike ratted me out in Jersey. So what guy code is there between me and Mike? There is no guy code."
Jenni immediately tells Snooki that Mike told "everyone" about how she cheated on Jionni with him. Except, surprise: "Mike is a big, fat liar. I have never hooked up with him," Snooki says. Mike denies he lied and everyone gets really loud about it. "Dude, you have no friends in the house! Mike, you're a douchebag, and I hate you!" Snooki claims that the only time they even came close to getting together was quite a while ago, and Snooki turned him down. And now Mike is mad at Ronnie for telling! Ronnie isn't having any of it, though. If Mike was so sincere about his feelings for Snooki, then why is he bringing all these other girls home?
Coming up next week: everyone fights with everyone!
--Christine Lusey, PopNews Wire