Updated

TMZ has learned it was Oksana Grigorieva who got a domestic violence restraining order against Mel Gibson, and not vice versa ... and she claims the actor was violent toward her.

We've learned Oksana's lawyers went to the family law court in downtown L.A. last Monday for an emergency hearing, and told the judge that Mel allegedly got violent with her -- two sources say Oksana claimed Mel was "extremely violent."

Sources tell TMZ the judge issued a restraining order prohibiting Mel from having any contact with Oksana. We're told the next day, Mel's lawyers went back to court and got the order modified so Mel could see their daughter.

We're told Mel also got a restraining order against Oksana, but only with respect to prohibiting her from releasing certain information.

A source connected with Mel Gibson scoffed at Oksana's allegations, claiming the alleged incidents occurred this past January and she traveled with him afterwards -- all over the world.  As the source put it, "In these cases, when somebody cries wolf, the judge is mandated to assume there's a wolf, until a full hearing can be held."

A source connected with Oksana confirms the alleged violent incidents occurred in January, but added, "There were other acts after January that were not physical but still constituted domestic violence."

More Mel Gibson on TMZ

Mel Gibson -- More Trouble in Malibu

Mel Gibson -- What Babies Want

More On This...

Mel Gibson Dumps Russian Baby Mama